Would I Brainwash My Child on Purpose?

Last week I wrote about sharing my passion for green beans, fresh picked and eaten in the field. I mentioned that I shared my passion and described excitedly the memory I had of this experience to my then small children - and the result was they reacted the same way, did the same thing...picked the bean, broke it in two, took a big sniff, bit it, and mmmmm, 'this is awesome Mom!'

Wow - I felt like I brain washed them! Did they have any choice but to do what they did, feel what they felt? Let me just say I am not an advocate of brain-washing children.

I was uncomfortable when I went back and read my blog, wondering if I was somehow suggesting that brain washing is a good parenting technique. But then I began to wonder, what is brain washing? What is the difference in raising my kids to think a certain way - share my values - and brain washing?

I was relieved to find out that I'm not brain washing my kids. Brainwashing is when someone "systematically uses unethically manipulative methods to persuade others to conform to the wishes of the manipulator(s), often to the detriment of the person being manipulated" (according to  Langone, Michael. "Cults: Questions and Answers". www.csj.org).

So sharing my values with my kids is not to their detriment and I'm not using unethical methods. I'm off the hook. Of course we all influence our children with our good and bad habits, values, actions, words...even when we hope they aren't paying attention.

It's good to be conscious of your actions because those kids, whether they are little or not, are influenced by us, their parents. That's just the way it is...even when they say they don't care, aren't listening, hate us, etc. That's actually when our behavior matters the most.